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Crysis 2

Right, there isn’t much reason in reviewing this game. If you know about it, you have already bought it, completed it and sleep with it nightly. You guessed it, its Crysis 2. Now the problem I have with Crysis 2 is whenever you bring it up, it’s always “Oh the games graphics are amazing”, no-one really talks about the story or the gameplay or anything else. It’s the same with all the games that run on the Cryengine, the developers spend all their time working on the engine so they don’t have any time for anything else and have to leave everything else to, and I’m just guessing, a pile of broken glass. As you may have guessed I didn’t like the game. I didn’t understand why the game as a whole was so linear, something as unholy powerful as the Cryengine would be better suited for an exploration game. It’s like gazing outside a window, you see the world for all its magnificent and splendour but you can’t go outside because you have no legs.

You play as “Alcatraz” a Marine who is the successor to “Nomad” from the first game. The game starts off like every other first person shooter since Call of Duty 4. You and your chums are knocking about when suddenly something bad happens. Yes, the nuke in COD4 was brilliant because it was so unexpected like I was to my parents, but now every FPS is doing something along those lines so its become the new cliché like saying “its become the new cliché”. Everyone else dies and you are saved by some bloke who gives you the suit in exchange for massage with a bullet and you wind up in New York, and seeing as this is post 9/11 the police are everywhere and don’t take kindly to you slinking about. As people who have played the first game will know, this suit lets you jump higher, increase your armour and turn invisible like Rupert Grint career after harry potter ends, and you use them to navigate your way through the game.

Gameplay is fun, I guess. It’s nice to pick which way you want to go about an area, you can go in guns blazing, sneak through and avoid combat if you’re a girl or silently pick off enemies like Batman if he throw all his morals out the window. I chose picking them off one by one which I found out was the easiest by far. Your “enemy notice level thing” to used the technical term, doesn’t go up an inch if you’re sensible and you can tiptoe through the game until the tips of your toes are ground down to a fine powder. Luckily, aliens came down for some reason, maybe to have a dip in our pools, and the army seemed to be more interested with them than me which I found rude but anyway. Between just chilling with a few beers, they have infected most of the city which does add atmosphere to parts of the game. There is part near the beginning of the game when you’re walking through crowds of people screaming and covered head to toe in blood like it’s this year’s fashion sense which I found satisfying like punching a bear. The weapons are like any other which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, you can also pop silences on which helps with the sneaking about and you can also pick up most stuff and throw it. For some reason Alcatraz can’t throw as far as Nomad from the first game, and when I say he can’t throw as far, I mean I have seen people throw out harsh language further.

Not to give a lot way, there are some great parts in this game but I felt that it sacrificed story for ball shattering visuals which maybe isn’t a bad this for some gamers, but if that’s the case why don’t you just look and a painting?

I don’t like to review online play, I don’t like it because now some developers are getting cheeky and are making a half arsed story just to try and make something as good as the COD series online, but if I must. Online is standard, the only difference is all players have the suit. Now the problem I had was everyone was just turning Rupert Grint and picking me off, and it got boring fast. There would be huge spaces of time where nothing would happen and no-one was attacking.  So after a disappointingly short time in bed, I finished, rolled over and went to sleep.

“Tom’s Top Tips” to developers…

Tip #23 “No, you are not going to make the next big thing in online gamming so stop it before I take off my belt”